A compliment so satisfying

I had a very unsettling thought cross my mind today, while I struggled to breathe in and out through my mouth, as my blocked nose refused to compromise. Having the taste of parchment in my throat, my head spun upon the realization.

Many – scratch that – all of us girls, must have had at least once in our lifetime an experience where we did something outstanding to make our parents overwhelmed and excited – and subsequently been called ‘beta/son’ for that.

‘Da khu mi zwe d’, ‘Ye to mera beta hai’, ‘She is as good as a son’

And girls have been functioned in a way where they take pride in being called a son/boy. This sentence makes them stand with their heads held high, having achieved the highest rank of appreciation they can from their parents.

Only recently have I learned to appreciate myself as a woman. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but yet I am guilty of having twirled at such compliments. I am afraid that can’t be changed now, however women in the coming generation can very well change the compliments granted to their daughters. Be the mother who never calls her daughter as good as a boy, be the wife that never encourages her husband to call their daughter a boy, be a girl who never takes pride in being called a boy when she achieves something. Because girls have the capability to accomplish the impossible, and yet not need any ‘manly’ powers. The idea of men with superior powers need to be demolished, and every time a girl has an achievement, her forehead needs to stop being stamped with ‘as good as a boy’ title.

When women accept themselves and stop comparing themselves with men, when they discover their capabilities and strengths, and for each reason keep the beat of ‘I am as good as any man’ low, they’d discover a world which wouldn’t need so-called feminism, yet a world which would have equality.

This stream of thought lead to those women who degrades other girls, be it their size, their skin-tone, their background, the way they talk, introverts/extroverts, their dependence/independence, sense of style and modesty – this needs to stop. Only when women learn to respect their fellow women, and ultimately themselves – when they learn to appreciate themselves, only then will they be viewed as they want to be viewed.

Take pride in being a lady. You are beautiful and you are graceful. You have the strength of taking over the world. Respect your fellow being, be it men or women. Do not lose your femininity in the race of feminism. Wear it as a shield and be proud of it – someday it will prove to be your crown.

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